So apparently, word on the cosmic street is true: Mercury is indeed in dreaded retrograde from Dec. 3–22.
Like most people, I don't totally know what that means, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with communication and iPhones and basically, we're all fucked. And obviously, Twitter has a lot to say about it.
Some people are issuing warnings:
Men are cancelled until mercury retrograde ends on the 22nd. Thank me later
Mercury is in retrograde this is not the time to go on a search for some new dick bitch stay the fuck home
any man who tries to come back into my life during mercury retrograde is clearly a man i need to kill
I will fucking blame all my melt downs and dramatic tendencies on mercury retrograde and no one can stop me!!!!!! Bye
mercury is in retrograde u know what that means ladies
Some are sharing their survival plans:
*shuts my phone off until mercury retrograde is over*
show mercury retrograde who's boss by sabotaging yourself. you don't even need it. *it* should be afraid of *you!*
And like always, there are some skeptics:
Me: Astrology is fake Y'all: Mercury is in retrograde Me:
me: *maybe eats once a day, drinks/eats food terrible for my system, sleeps 4 hours a night* my body: *gets sick* m… https://t.co/4DRSbZeULK
You know what’s worse than Mercury being in retrograde? Being constantly told that Mercury is in retrograde.
This girl, however, opted to have a carefree mentality moving forward, which I admire:
Mercury: in retrograde My titties: out
And some people are just plain confused:
Mercury is in retrograde and I have the WEIRDEST boner I don’t know how astrology works
Damn bitch how many times mercury gon be in retrograde?
YOU: The Queen Bio-pic is stalled ME: Freddy Mercury's in retrograde
Others are pointing out some strange coincidences/effects:
WOW MERCURY SEEMS TO ALWAYS BE IN RETROGRADE WHENEVER MY WORST FRIEND IS DOING SOMETHING DUMB
everyone talkin bout mercury in retrograde and then i get sick??? i cant. get ur bad astrology juju away from me im… https://t.co/A6Q6VBRUd9
And this ~artiste~ is channeling his negative energy into CrEaTiVe EnErGy:
Mercury is retrograde trump speaks like he’s in third grade A poem
But overall, I think this guy sums up Twitter's feelings on Mercury retrograde best:
mercury retrograde right before christmas is even more exhausting than the impending end of civilization
You have now officially been warned by the astrologically conscious Twittersphere. Tread lightly, and stay the fuck home!!!
Mercury did not come to play this retrograde